Rawr.
Of all the silly things that pop culture shoves down our throats, this has got to be the worst of it. Twilight is easily the most embarrassing thing I can think of when it comes to fandom and ridiculousness. Now I haven't read the books, so I will not comment on them. For all I know, the books are great and special and blah blah blah, but I did stomach the first movie for you guys. For that, you owe me.
Quick synopsis for you. In fact, I'll sum up the entire movie right now.
Bella: I love you
Ed: I love you t-
Bella: I love you!
Ed: I... uh I love you to-
Bella: I LOVE YOU
Ed: I lo-
Bella: IloveyouIloveyouIloveyouIloveyou
Ed: -brooding face-
Bella: -blank I think I just messed my pants face-
Seriously. Since I do not wish to bore you with just how terrible the actual movie is, I will tell you exactly what we are going to look back on this and deny deny deny.
Firstly, Glittery Vampires. They will not catch on. When our kids ask about that we are going to laugh. There will never be a question about what happens to vampires in sunlight. They. Burst. Into. Flames. We all know this as a normal part of the mythology. You will never catch me saying to my kids "You know what... Back in my day they did the Vampires right. They wouldn't burst into gory flames like today oh no... They sparkled like broadway on the fourth of July! Now those were the days!" Nope. Never going to say that.
Next, when you pick a team, you would hope for the side that will win. During the Twilight: New Moon opening and up to the next movie, there was a phenomenon that we all know about now as being shun worthy. I'm talking about the "Team Edward" and the "Team Jacob." Apparently, Bella was supposed to choose one or the other to fall in love with and annoy the hell out of that guy and not the other. This would be fine and dandy if you know the next book hadn't already been out and told who won. It's like watching a rerun on a browns game and betting money they would win.
Spoiler Alert! He loses.
We should just realize that this is one of those fads that we will look back on and grin and smile. Anyone who was part of this fad will probably not be very interested in pulling out their old Edward Cullen key chains and their Bella "I just crapped my pants face" lunch boxes. So maybe we should just be happy that one day, it will be over and we can go back to obsessing over Harry Potter 24/7.
I’m not sure if you’re yay or nay on the issue. If you are saying the movies or the Twilight franchise is just an abhorrent mistake, a black mark on man’s collective soul that shall never be erased, something that should never have been and offends the senses, then yes, I agree. Personally, I think vampires are sexy….teen vampires- not so much. There’s something about not having been through puberty that is just kinda……wrong, sick, disgusting- a complete turn off! This is a betrayal to what vampires have always represented in modern pop and underground culture. On a more serious note, I think adding the sexuality of vampires and throwing it at teens is big mistake on the part of America. What kind of messages are we sending to our kids? Guilty are the makers and the parents that allow this filth top permeate youth culture.
ReplyDeleteI have to disagree with your statement of mainstream shoving things down our throat. Personally, I stay away from the radio, pop-culture, and 24/7 media catered to your demographics and needs etc. etc. etc. Not to say I’m living “off the grid” but I process the messages of the mainstream peripherally, on purpose (think ELM theory) and take what I do chose to receive from, those messages- with a huge grain of salt. (Most likely one the size of a Volkswagen.) With that said, I take and chose as I please from what the “mainstream” throws at us. You seem to subliminally embrace it by hating- thus suggesting you possibly accept it. I like that. Personally, that’s the hook that is going to have me read more of your posts. This brings me back to my original question, do you like or dislike this teen vampire trend?
Please don’t regard any of this as an insult, I was smiling the entire time I read this and the added graphics (especially the last one) made me laugh (a hard thing to do with walking-pneumonia). I literally had to grab my inhaler. Excellent start to a blog- I intend to read each week!
You sir, are a hero in my books. Fantastic comment!
ReplyDeleteI do not hate the Vampire trend. Blade, Buffy, Fright Night, even True Blood is decent. When the Vampires are as dark and mature as they should be, then it's a wonderful thing. Twilight... No. I watched the movie and to be honest, it's a chick flick with vampires, and that's just not entertaining.
As for the Mainstream shoving down your throat, you say you are not being forced to see it. Well my question for you is, did you know who Edward Cullen is? Bella? Did you know the story? Did you know about the glitter skin? If you say yes to any of this, you had it shoved down your throat. Doesn't mean you loved it, or even cared about it. Just means that it's been placed in your mind. Not a bad thing, it's why it's "mainstream."
I'm really glad you enjoyed reading, I will do my best to keep it coming. I had Walking Pneumonia 4 years ago, drink lots of water and hold on tight! Get better my friend!
Thanks for stomaching the movie. I refuse.
ReplyDeleteBlade is the only day-walker to me.
And this is is the only Team Edward I know.
http://jaxdarkstar.tumblr.com/post/2063212554/the-original-team-edward-in-shirt-form-to-boot
I absolutely LOVE vampire lore and legend but I don't think Twilight has a place.
Now Lestat....and 30 days of Night....those books series and movies are where it's at.
I completely agree with you about the teams thing. I could understand the action if it was in support of one of the characters, like what they did with Snape (Good Snape v. Evil Snape), but, like you said, the chosen one had already been revealed. I think this really only served to demote the intelligence of many young people—there are a few guys included here though the majority is made up of girls. I’ve even heard of one instance of a woman who divorced her husband because he was not Edward. Girls get so wrapped up in Edward and Jacob, forgetting that these are only FICTIONAL characters. They base their ideas of their perfect guy off of these characters and expect it to turn out this way in reality. They just end up making a big mess of things here in this little thing we like to call reality.
ReplyDeleteOh Preston... Haha! I enjoyed this post so much! I hate how everyone has made a big deal about sparkling vampires and the teenager love triangle. It's not so much that the story line bothers me, okay it pretty silly. But! What bothers me more is how Stephanie Meyer writes. The fact is, she can't! Not in her first book anyway. I read it. I have never seen so many incomplete sentences, fragments, and grammar problems in just one novel. Now, this is my opinion so I hope nobody is offended. Seriously though, go back and read the first book and you will see what I am talking about. If the book was that bad, I am almost positive the movie is worse.
ReplyDelete