Alejandro! Poker face so she goes away!

We've all been there. We have all woken up in the morning and looked in horror at our hair in the mirror wondering how in the world it got that way. We just laid on it wrong, why is it all over the place? Well my theory is that Lady Gaga woke up one day, looked at her own mess of  hair and decided she was good to go. Then she happened to fall into an astronomy kit and decided she was dressed. We can only hope that somehow hygiene was taken care of somewhere in that mess.

Now don't get me wrong, Lady Gaga is probably one of the most talented musicians I've ever heard. She has the voice of Christina Aguilera, and the provocativeness of Madonna. Sure, she may get drowned out by europop and bass, but when I saw her perform Paparazzi on the piano, she almost brought a tear. She's genuinely talented. Sadly though, we are going to look back on her and cringe.

To start off with the Gaga turmoil, imagine your son or daughter looking through old albums on the internet and stumbling upon Gaga. "Oh I know her, she sang that one song right?" Well yeah, we wouldn't be that upset at all, but when they watch the video, they are going to cock their heads and look at you like you are a crazy person. What's going on in this video? Oh I think she's dancing next to dead people. Here? Oh I think she's being forced to take a bath. Why are her eyes big and why is she dancing with that white suit on? Oh........... Shut up it was a different time.

The woman strapped meat on her body as a dress once, she has been hailed as a fashion icon and she wore a meat suit. Does anyone else think this might come back and bite us in the butt? We laugh at our parents for those ugly neon colors and for wanting to wear Michael Jackson's bright orange jumpsuit, yet we are going to worship the ground of a woman who dresses.... in.... meat.

Oh Look Ma! Aunt Bessie is on the TV!

It's not even really her that is quite all that embarrassing. It's the "Little Monsters" as well. By followers, I'm not talking about the gay community, I'm talking about the nut jobs who are dressing up like her. It's semi ok for her to do it because she's on stage and a celebrity. I don't think Mary Sue down the street is going to wear a red veiled jumpsuit to school and not get beaten up. It's all quite bizarre and I can find many instances that will make Madonna's Boob Cones look like they were the most cultured thing ever made.

Now for the latest fiasco. Her alter Ego that she is currently working on. What? She's literally dressing up as a man, refusing to answer to her name, and wore a prosthetic penis that she continuously grabbed onto during the whole night. Did she do this at a shoot? No. A music video? Yes and No. This was at the VMA's. The Video Music Awards. The effing Music Awards! Nothing is more of an eyesore than an attention sucking starlet who has decided to utterly confuse everyone. Even people in the gay community were a bit turned off by it.

Type of Bending not shown: Gender

End point. Gaga is a great musician, pianist, actor, director, writer, and overall idealistic person. The problem is that when you are trying to make a point, make your point. I don't talk in latin to people I want to hear me speak for a good reason. If they don't hear your point then you might as well not have one at all. Perhaps someone can decipher a few of her outfits for me. That Red Veiled one that she wore at the MTV awards would be quite appreciated.